Saying Goodbye, Again

We said good-bye to Pete and his family today. They will be spending the 4th of July in New York - how fun is that?

It was easier saying good bye this time. Last time, we didn't know if we would see each other again. This time, we know we will see each other again, either in Finland or here. Pete's Mom and Dad are talking about coming back to Minnetonka in a couple of years after Mari graduates for 5 or six months. I am hoping to visit Finland within the next couple of years.

Pete's Mom was an exchange student 30 years ago and still is in touch with her host family. Pete will always be part of our family. And now our family has been expanded to include his family, Harri, Kathri, Henri and Mari. It was amazing how quickly we became comfortable with them and how soon they became our friends and how much we had in common.

I am so thankful to them for first sending Pete to us and then bring him back to us. What a gift they have given to our family. Kathri called to thank us and said she felt like she had friends in America. I feel the same - I have friends in Finland!

Family Connections

Saturday night we spent the evening with Pete's family (Karthi, Harri, Mari, Henry & Pete) and Henry's host family. We had a wonderful time sharing stories about our time with Pete and Henri and hearing about Mari's time in Washington. Harri gave a toast thanking us for taking in their sons and taking such good care of them. We felt so blessed that they had shared their sons with us and brought them back to visit.

Pete's Mom Kathri had been an exchange student in Northern California 30 years ago. She felt it was very important for her children to have the same experience she did. We are so thankful she did.

He's Back!

Pete and his family are here for a short visit. His sister was in Washington State as an exchange student this year so their vacation started out there. They then went to San Fransisco to see the host family for Pete's Mom when she was in high school almost 30 years ago and then cam here to Minnetonka. Pete walked into our house and Boomer greeted him like he never left. "He remembers me!" Talking with Pete's Mom I was struck with how much he looks like his Mom, his older brother Henri looks like his Dad and Mari, his younger sister is a combination of both.

It was great having Pete back in our house, feeling comfortable enough to raid the fridge. Just goes to show that distance doesn't matter, when hearts are involved.

Vanhojen tanssit The Old Dances

Vanhojen tanssit (or Wanhojen tanssit; in English "The dances of the old") is a formal prom held in Finnish upper secondary schools (lukio) during the second year. It is a celebration of the fact that the 11th graders are now the oldest of the school. The prom is usually held in February the day after the 12th graders have finished school, after which they have a study break to prepare them for the matriculation exams. Sometimes the first word is spelled with a w, which adds an oldish effect in Finnish. The people attending the dances are called Vanhat (or Wanhat; "The old").

I was not aware of this dance until Pete sent an e-mailwith pictures. It sounds like a wonderful time for all ages to enjoy!

Would you do it again

I have had a lot of people lately ask me about our experience hosting an exchange student. The question that is always asked is will you do it again. The natural assumption is that if you had a good experience, of course you would want to do it again. But my response is No, I don't think we will do it again.

Like a lot of things, I don't think the sequel would be nearly as exciting or fulfilling. Our year with Pete worked due to a combination of things that will never happen again.


I don't know what we would have done without Ross. He was the driver, the confidant, the big brother, the spoiler. He and Pete became quite close during the year. We knew they had connected when Ross started blaming Pete for things left undone or laying around. Pete helped expand Ross' world and Ross expanded Pete's world.

What can I say, Pete is an exceptional kid. From the first day he stepped off the plane until the day he left he was open to new experiences. He was flexible, and yet wasn't afraid to give his opinion. Right from the start he seemed to blend into our family, opening our hearts and minds to new perspectives and ideas.

We got a letter the other day from YFU. There were a number of kids who were waiting for a "home". The plea was to commit to take someone for 6 weeks so they could be enrolled in school and give YFU time to find another home. We knew darn well that the hope (and probable reality) was that the kid would end of staying the whole year.

Mark was looking over the profiles and saw a Finnish girl who "loved to garden, walk the dog and house clean". She would be perfect for us, he joked. Yes, we do have the space with Ross at college, but the room in our hearts are full with the 3 boys we have.

Can you give me a ride?

One of the things that we really didn't think about before Pete came was transportation. Exchange students are not allowed to drive while in the United States. Even if Pete was allowed to drive, I am not sure we could have handled another teen age driver. Because of this, we spent quite a bit of time transporting him from one location to another. Pete made friends very easily and often when he called for a ride, we would end up driving 3, 4 or 5 other kids home.

At first, this proved quite a challenge. Minnetonka was new to all of these kids and geography wasn't a strong point either for them or me. When asked where they lived, often the response was "by the school" which could mean any one of the 15 or so schools in the area. "By the big highway" was another challenge. I can say that one prerequisite of being a host parent must be to live in an out of the way hidden location! I saw quite a few new neighborhoods that I never knew existed before. We had to resort to calling the host parent once in a while to find out the exact location, but eventually we all figured it out. By January, everyone had a pretty good idea of where they lived, which made the rides much less stressful.

I really enjoyed the kids conversations during these rides. It would give me a chance to hear how their experiences were going - some good, some not as good, and their perspective on America in general and Minnetonka specifically. The debates were often lively and heated, especially when comparing home countries and customs.

We put a lot of miles on the car during the year, but it was a time that was filled with laugher and enjoyment.

Setting Sail

I ran across this last year when my oldest son Ned was going off to college. It seems even more appropriate for sending Pete back home to Finland.

A FINAL GIFT: LETTING GO

(to a teen leaving home)

Boats in the harbor are safe near shore

Far from the unknown sea,

But just as boats were made for more,I

t's the same with you and me.

Those who would anchor their teen with a stone

In hopes of preventing a wreck,

Find that their fears are never undone

And the stone ends up weighting both necks.

So I give to you a port called home

Where your ship was built so strong,

And if you need to harbor here,

You know that you belong.

And I give to you the maps you'll need

That you may set the course

For places that I'll never see,

So go without remorse.

Tilting your sails into the wind

With hope, and vision and courage--

I kiss you once, then touch your chin

And wish you bon voyage!

-Michael H. Popkin